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Divorce brings unexpected changes

On Behalf of | Oct 1, 2019 | Divorce

Divorce can be a difficult time, even when both people want the split. There are so many changes that people going through divorce experience that it can feel overwhelming at times. Although many people have experienced it, divorce can feel very isolating.

Though most people realize that divorce generally alters several facets of a person’s life, there are some changes people say they didn’t predict. Being prepared might make the experience easier to manage. If you’re thinking about divorcing here in Alabama, there are several ways your life could change.

A change in your relationship with your spouse

Putting aside the obvious change of no longer being married, there are other changes you may experience in your divorce regarding your spouse. Many people feel as though their spouse is their best friend, and that person is no longer there after divorce. Some people rely on the career expertise of their spouse for certain things in their lives, and that can leave a void after divorce.

There is also a loss of someone that you likely share a great deal of history with. Many families miss the old traditions they used to share with their spouse and kids. The good news is that new experiences can lead to new traditions and memories to share with your kids, friends or a new relationship.

A change in your relationship with your children

If you have children, divorce will probably change your relationship with them. First, if you and your ex share custody, you will have less time to spend with them. Some people find that focusing on hobbies, work or other relationships can help reduce any sadness they might feel when their children are spending time with their other parent.

You may also lose the chance to share happy moments in your kids’ lives with your spouse the way that you used to do. This is particularly true if the divorce wasn’t amicable, but it can even happen in friendly divorces. You could try sharing that pride in your children with other relatives or close friends.

A change in your relationships with others

Many people aren’t surprised when their ex’s family stops communicating with them after a divorce, though the loss may still be there and can be painful. Some discover that they lose friends as people might take sides after the divorce. There is one good thing; divorce may show you who your real friends are when certain people stick by your side.

A change in your standard of living 

Divorce can drastically change a person’s finances as assets are split up and expenses rise since one person, not two, is now covering all costs. You may decide to change jobs or go back to work in order to take care of yourself. Some people lose their home because the other spouse keeps it or both parties decide to sell it. Either scenario means a big adjustment to one’s standard of living, and, coupled with the rise in expenses, it can be stressful.

A change in your expectations

For some people, divorce means that they have to challenge a part of themselves they’d always assumed to be true — that they would never divorce. It can be difficult to come to terms with a belief you deeply held. Furthermore, many people feel upset about the potential change to their future that divorce can bring. They may have assumed they would stay married, and it can be jarring to have to change their dreams for the future.

No matter the circumstances of divorce, you can get through it and emerge stronger on the other side. Utilizing professional help to guide you through can make the process easier, and, with a little time and effort, you may find that you can begin to enjoy your new life.

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